Overcoming your fear of flying: a step-by-step guide

Fear of flying, also known as aviophobia, affects millions of people around the world. For some, it’s a mild discomfort before takeoff. For others, it’s full-blown anxiety that begins days or even weeks before the flight. If that sounds like you, know this: you are not alone, and there’s nothing “silly” or irrational about your fear. More importantly, there are effective ways to manage it; techniques backed by psychology, neuroscience, and real-life experience.

Here’s a practical step-by-step guide to help you feel more confident the next time you step onto a plane.

Step 1: Identify what you’re really afraid of

Not all fears about flying look the same. For some people, it’s the fear of a plane crash. For others, it’s claustrophobia; feeling trapped in a tight space. Others worry about having a panic attack mid-flight and “losing control” in front of strangers.

Take a moment to reflect on your fears:

• Is turbulence the cause of your racing heart?

• Do you feel trapped or unable to escape?

• Are you worried about a medical emergency on board?

• Do news stories or movies trigger your fear?

  
  

Writing down your specific fears gives you clarity. This is the first step toward overcoming them.

Step 2: Learn how flying works

Understanding how airplanes operate can reassure you. Knowledge is a great antidote to fear. Here are a few facts that might help:

• Commercial airplanes are designed to handle extreme weather, wind, and turbulence.

• Pilots undergo rigorous training, accumulating thousands of hours of flight experience.

• Air travel is statistically the safest mode of transportation.

• Turbulence feels scary, but it’s not dangerous—it’s akin to hitting potholes in the sky.

  
  

Watching videos about flying or reading articles from pilots can alleviate your fear of the unknown. You can also contact us to book a 1:1 session with Captain Pete Martin - my Dad, who has over 42 years of aviation experience and was a flying instructor in the RAF.

Step 3: Practice relaxation techniques before you fly

Don’t leave calming yourself down until you’re on the plane. Begin this process weeks or even months before your flight. Build a toolkit of relaxation strategies to use when nerves kick in.

Try these practices:

• Deep breathing: Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4, and exhale for 6. Repeat this exercise. You can visualise tracing a box while doing it, either in your mind or with your finger on your leg, to enhance sensory feedback.

• Progressive muscle relaxation: Tense and then release different muscle groups, helping to reduce physical tension.

  
  

• Visualisation: Picture yourself boarding the plane calmly, enjoying the view, and landing smoothly.

  
  

The more you practice these techniques when you’re not flying, the more effortlessly your body will respond when you are in the air.

Step 4: Set yourself up for success on flight day

You don’t have to "wing it." The environment surrounding your flight plays a significant role in your experience.

• Choose your seat wisely: A seat over the wing is considered the most stable. If you experience claustrophobia, opt for an aisle seat for easier movement.

• Dress comfortably: Wear cozy layers, allowing you to adjust if you get too warm or cold.

  
  

• Arrive early: Rushing only adds unnecessary stress. Give yourself time to check in, relax, and have a grounding meal before boarding.

  
  

• Bring a comfort kit: Include items like headphones, soft socks, essential oils, mints, calming music, or a small stuffed animal for comfort.

  
  

Additionally, inform the flight attendants that you’re a nervous flyer! They are trained to assist you and often go out of their way to make you feel supported. If speaking out loud feels uncomfortable, consider handing them a note instead.

Step 5: Seek professional help if needed

If your fear feels intense or overwhelming, so much so that it limits your ability to travel, it may be time to talk to a therapist. Many specialists focus on phobias and anxiety, offering targeted strategies to address your fears.

Here are several therapeutic approaches you might consider:

1. Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR): This method uses proven techniques to reduce flying-related fears. It’s particularly helpful when your fear is linked to past trauma or irrational beliefs. While CBT is more commonly known, I personally believe that EMDR can provide faster and more significant results.

   
   

2. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT): This therapy helps you accept anxious thoughts without letting them dictate your actions. It encourages meaningful movement toward your goals, whether that be travel or connection, even when fear is present.

   
   

Other options to explore include:

• Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): This method helps challenge irrational thoughts and replace them with realistic perspectives.

• Exposure therapy: Gradually desensitises you by taking small steps, like visiting an airport or viewing flight simulations.

  
  

There are also online programs run by airlines, combining education with exposure.

We are also delighted to offer our own online program, developed from clinical literature. Designed by me, Dr. Kristy Potter, a Clinical Psychologist with expertise in phobias and anxiety, this program was created alongside my Dad, Pete, a pilot with over 42 years of experience. Please register your interest here and you’ll receive a free e-book with evidence-based techniques to help you during your flight.

If you’re eager to start or have an upcoming flight, consider individual sessions in the meantime. They can be highly effective in just a few appointments, book your free 15-minute call here to see what we can offer you.

Remember: You can learn to fly without fear

This journey isn’t about transforming from fearful to fearless overnight. Instead, it’s about proving to yourself that you can fly. Your fear, while real, doesn’t have to control your life.

Every flight you take, even a short one, builds resilience. You're teaching your nervous system that you’re safe. You are rewriting your story. Remember, you've likely conquered fears before. As a child or adult, you have faced things that once terrified you, such as driving a car or answering a phone call.

One breath, one flight, one win at a time—you’ve got this!